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Any minute now…any minute

10 Apr

Still got the ol’ polyp. Yup, me and Polly Polyp. BFFs.

What’s happened so far is a massive cash discotheque, I suspect. I’ve had both of my consultations as of this afternoon. The first one was yesterday at the hospital I’ll have the procedure at and it was your standard 30 min intake. A nurse took my vitals, reviewed my medical history, and reviewed my pre- and post-op instructions. Then today, I went to my fertility clinic to do a sit-and-chat with my doctor (he is one of the doctors running the fertility clinic and he’s also affiliated with a few area hospitals and, since their surgeries have to take place in a hospital setting, even though he’s not our actual doctor, he’s going to perform mine.) I re-filled out the same med history paperwork and reviewed it with a medical assistant who also checked my vitals (although she didn’t take any blood! Yay!). Then I sat in their very warm, quiet chit-chat room. And waited. About half an hour later, he came in and made sure I got to ask my questions. Ten minutes later, we were done.

Duuuuuuude. This could have all been down in one visit and a packet of info. Let’s get this polypectomy on the road! Polly’s gotta get evicted!

But I DO have an actual, really-going-to-happen surgery appt in a little over a week. AND neither of the consultations involved ultrasounds so I got to keep my pants on! Yay!

Hysteroscopy and The Modern Woman

4 Apr

I thought I’d share what exactly my last appointment was about instead of the two-liner in the last post. Also, there’s going to be some time to kill before I hit the speed limit on the highway to babytown. Right now, I’m just pulled over on the shoulder, hazards on, and hoping my phone battery doesn’t die before I beat my solitaire finish time best. This analogy got away from me.

Hysteroscopy

by Ass-Kicking Mama

After I was told I may have an endometrial polyp, the doc recommended I go to their surgical center to get a diagnostic hysteroscopy to make sure that’s what it was.

So off we go to their other site for the ultrasound; I made sure to take some ibu*profen beforehand. The Wife came with me (for some reason, despite me moaning and whining about having to experience a camera in parts of my anatomy not built to accommodate electronics, she thought I was actually having surgery) and hung out in their plush waiting room. No joke, I was seriously considering asking where they got their furniture from; we could use a couple new chairs in our living room. Then I realized that they could probably afford to splash on fancy color schemes and up-to-date magazines because fertility treatments are freaking expensive!

Everytime I go to the clinic, it’s a bit bittersweet. There’s so much hope and frustration and fear and love all mixed up in every woman’s face that I see. Nobody really makes eye contact, but I take peeks and just try to send positive wishes and hopes to everyone right into their heads. I’m thinking they probably do it, too. We’re all like a baby-making army of determined, blood-giving ladies.

Anyways, back to the surgical center. I got called back pretty fast, leaving The Wife to the work she had brought with her. I donned a hospital gown and bright blue booties. Cleared my bladder. Got set up in chair with a heated blanket (so freaking fancy!) to go over the risks of the procedure. And then I was brought into a large room with one gyn table in the middle surrounded by ultrasound equipment, lights, and a stool. It was actually a bit stark and spooky. I was going to crack a joke about walking onto the set of a horror movie, but decided against it. I got set up on the table-their stirrup’s were also really fancy, of course, like cushioned cradles for my feet and calves.

The counselor who reviewed the risks with me prepared me for something that resembled a pap smear, plus some. They would be pumping my uterus full of saline so it open a bit. Then a long narrow tube with a wee camera at the end would enter the mouth of the uterus and take a peek around.

The whole thing was very quick and I really didn’t feel much until we started looking around (I got to see everything on a TV screen. I asked about getting pictures to go home, but they didn’t have a way to print them out. Boo). I started to feel cramps and they just got more and more intense until I was afraid my body was just going to start scooching away. But, just as I was about to ask if I could tap out, it was done! All told, it took maybe 3 mins. So fast.

After that, I got dressed, helped myself to one of their menstrual pads (um, saline has to go somewhere), and went home. I had some light cramping, but nothing too bad.

The ultrasound tech said that he definitely saw a polyp and also recommended I get it removed so done deal, right? Just gotta schedule that with the hospital they work with and there we go. Except, apparently, now I have to go to the hospital to do a pre-consultation, go back to my “home” clinic to do another pre-consult and THEN I can have it removed? I don’t know what we have to pre-consult about over and over and over again. Let’s get this going, folks!

Now, because of those additional preliminary appts, the actual surgery would happen when I should be menstruating which doesn’t work, so then I’ll have to wait until the week after that.I actually can’t wait to get going on this thing!

And that concludes this episode of TMI: X-treme Edition.