Tag Archives: 2ww

Halfway into an Eternity

7 Jun

Peeing has never been so fraught with tension. I read about it, fret about it, I’ve even argued with The Wife about it! For three decades of my life, peeing has always been so simple. So easy. Now, I’m obsessed.

Officially, I’m 10 days past ovulation (DPO). I have peed on two pregnancy tests, both came back negative. Now, I’m trying not to be completely dashed because it’s still too early for a definite, but it’s hard. I feel torn between wanting to just throw in the towel and drown my sorrows in sugar-rich caffeinated beverages and chemically delicious fast food (maybe even a beer or two) and staying positive and hoping for the best.

So far, I haven’t had any blatant obvious pregnancy symptoms. I’ve had some light nausea, but nothing I couldn’t write off as nerves or movie theatre popcorn. I’ve also had cramping and twinges of pain, but maybe I’m just having an exceptionally early PMS bout. That’s pretty much it. No chest tenderness or implantation bleeding. Nothing I can point to and say “ah-ha! I AM WITH CHILD”.

I have a handful of cheap internet pregnancy tests left and I went out a bought an early response one, just in case. I read in multiple places that the cheapies are actually supposed to be pretty damn sensitive, but why not get another just in case? I’m going to wait until the weekend to bust that one out, though!

Fingers still crossed!

We did it!

29 May

We had our first insemination! Finally, hallelujah!

Got no sleep last night, I was so nervous. And, in full dorkitude, I wanted to fall asleep with positive thoughts in my head, so naturally the meant my brain had to pull up the ol’ ‘Embarrassments and Failures’ file and rifle through those pages.

Finally, I fell asleep after midnight and woke up bright and early at 5:30am. My appt wasn’t until 8. I took my temp and then got up and went ahead and started getting ready. The Wife popped awake, too, she seems to do well with sub-6am waketimes.

We got to the clinic early, so proud, but then we had to wait. And wait. Other women (clearly in monitored cycles) were coming and going with the gauze and tape badge on their arm that shows they survived the bloodwork and transvaginal ultrasound.

About an hour later, The Wife had to pop out to feed the meter and I got called back, of course. The med assistant assured me that they would wait until The Wife got back.

Minutes later, it was me on an exam table, The Wife at my side, the doctor, a med assistant, and a nurse practitioner who was shadowing him all crammed into a teensy exam room the size of a generous closet.

The actual IUI itself was a breeze! All I felt was the speculum! I think I have a very easygoing cerix as none of the intra-cervix procedures I’ve had were painful or even uncomfortable. The doc said that I had a perfect cervix and perfect timing-whoo-hoo! This was really great because this was the doctor of doom, the one who liked to tell me the worse case scenario. So if he thought things looked good, things must have looked A+ sparkletime unicorn happiness!

He had The Wife come around to actually depress the syringe plunger. She looked panicked for a moment; later, she said that she was happy to trust in our doctor’s expertise, but she did it just fine and everything got where it was supposed to go.

After that, the doctor had us hang out in the exam room for ten minutes, with me laying down, and then we got to head home. It was nice to have that brief alone time. I was surprised how overwhelmed I was by the process! While The Wife was knocking me up (hopefully) all I could think was ‘holy crap! Shit just got real!’. There’s no going back once your uterus has been invaded! I didn’t have any last minute doubts, it was just, wow, we’re finally here. After all that prep, it kind’ve felt like we’d never get to that point and there we were!

The Wife held my hand and kind’ve sideways cuddle me in her chair and we talked and she said encouraging words for egg + sperm. Then I made her watch this Japanese (?) video about pregnant women and I have NO idea what’s going on, but the song and the visuals are beautiful and, combined, they always choke me up. So we watched that and chatted and then got home, me trying to not walk too vigorously.

The Wife was so sweet. She made me breakfast and tea and tucked me in for nap (don’t judge! I hadn’t gotten any sleep last night!). She had to go back to work for a bit and was bummed, but hey, the important part is over. After the appt, all that’s left is me hanging around. Doing stuff. Interspersed with laying around with m pelvis tilted. She’s not missing much!

And that brings me to now. Now, I have to figure out how to keep myself occupied so I don’t drive myself and The Wife crazy in this two week waiting period until I can take a pregnancy test!